Eulogy for the Green Church

By Matthew Lysiak
The Brooklyn Paper

The Green Church will not be saved — you can take that to the bank and cash it. Yet despite the writing on the check, some members of the community continue to fight the inevitable.

Call it denial (or call it optimism), but many residents are having a hard time coming to terms with losing their beloved church, which according to a spokeswoman for the Massey Knakal realty giant, is as good as sold.

“The property is under hard contract,” said Keri Neering.

So Bay Ridge United Methodist, the 107-year-old structure on Fourth and Ovington avenues, will be torn down and it will become condos — but don’t blame a lack of effort from local preservationists. They have worked hard, and against long odds, to maintain the integrity of our neighborhood, prompting the consensus cliché — the Hail Mary.

The first “Hail Mary” attempt was by Councilman Vince Gentile (D–Bay Ridge), who worked out a deal that would have saved the church, added condo units to the neighborhood, and yielded a $300,000 annual windfall for the church for upkeep.

Most viewed Gentile’s pass as a perfect spiral, except for the congregants of the church, who wanted no savior (at least in terms of saving the structure).

The second Hail Mary attempt (remember you get four downs) was thrown by the Committee to Save the Bay Ridge United Methodist Church. They urged people to call the Landmarks Preservation Commission, which has the power to declare a building a landmark even without the owner’s permission. But that pass never even made it back to the line of scrimmage: Landmarks promptly declined the request to protect the 100-year-old church.

Then, historian Wade Goria raised the roof at last month’s Community Board 10 meeting in yet another attempt to save the church. Goria, whose microphone was pulled out of his hand at the previous meeting by CB10 Chairman Dean Rasanya after he bashed the Methodist hierarchy, began an impassioned sermon of his own, ranting and screaming (at times, quite eloquently) at the standing-room-only audience.

“We can not let them take this from us,” Goria shouted. “This is our community, this is our church, and this is our fight, now is the time to make our voices heard.”

Yellow Hooker is thinking a new cliché might be more appropriate. This one involves an obese woman and the final few notes of a song. Well, they gave it a shot (or two, or three).

The Kitchen Sink
Everything Zen? Not at least as far as the garbage and debris at Shore Road Park is concerned. The trash is located between two of the park’s most-cherished attractions: the Zen Garden and the Butterfly Park. Before we can cleanse the doors of perception, perhaps officials should first cleanse the large cement stones and the old fencing. …

War, what is it good for? How about the best shawarma with garlic sauce? Bay Ridge Neighbors for Peace is now meeting on Mondays at Mazza Plaza, which is at 8002 Fifth Ave., at 8 pm. …

A source tells The Stoop that state Sen. Marty Golden (R–Bay Ridge) is closer to running for Mayor. “Let me put it this way, at this point we feel quite encouraged,” said the source.