Banksteria in Bay Ridge

January 27, 2007

By Matthew Lysiak
The Brooklyn Paper

Bay Ridge is in the grip of Banksteria. Will “Restaurant Row” be replaced by endless blocks of ATMs and neon signs advertising the newest promotional CD rates?

To residents caught up in “Banksteria,” the answer is, of course, yes! To we rational members of the community, the whole thing is provoking a gentle yawn and a polite smile.

Thrown into the scrapheap of Bay Ridge past — somewhere between Lento’s thin crust pizza and “Bridal Row” — is the latest news that is stoking the flames of “Banksteria”: Tiffany Diner is closing to become a bank.

A Bay Ridge mainstay at the corner of Fourth Avenue and 99th Street since 1968, the diner will soon serve its last milkshake. Commerce Bank, which holds a long term lease on the property, plans to tear it down and open a new branch in its place.

That’s the same Commerce Bank that took over Kleinfelds’ space, by the way (Banksteria!).

Like June in the famous song from “Carousel,” banks are indeed busting out all over — especially around 86th Street, where one block has six banks.

“All of these banks are taking over Bay Ridge,” said a small business owner on Third Avenue. “I’m telling you, in 10 years, you will be walking down these streets and everything you know will be gone and you will see nothing but banks.”

Everything I know will be gone? Nothing but banks?

Recent media accounts have followed the same story line: Bay Ridge’s innocence is being stolen by the nameless, faceless cooperate blob that swallows Moms and Pops indiscriminately in pursuit of profit.

“I don’t know what their global plans are,” said Happy Pets owner and Tiffany’s Diner neighbor Jason. “But we certainly don’t need a bank on every block.”

But Yellow Hooker has to ask: If the banks are coming, couldn’t it possibly be because, um, we need banks?

Indeed, if the fear on the street was backed up by reality, wouldn’t banks be running from — not to — our community? How could such a contradiction exist?

“People just like to complain, but without all these banks competing, we would be screwed by high fees,” said local advocate and community board member Allen Bortnick.

“Besides, Commerce Bank is open seven days a week — that means Sunday, too.”

So as far as I was concerned, “Banksteria” had been debunked.

Then I heard the news: Griswold’s had been sold to become — that’s right, you guessed it — a BANK!

“We are having an engineer come by [this week] to look the place over — and after the Super Bowl that should be it,” said my source inside the restaurant.

In a word: “Nooooooooooooooo!” No more Friday night rib dates! No more $11.99 brunch deals on Sunday!

This isn’t mere Banksteria. This is the real thing!

The Kitchen Sink
Thank goodness we have state Sen. Marty Golden protecting the Verrazano Bridge from would-be parachutists. One day after a judge freed a guy who jumped off the Empire State Building, Golden announced a bill to close a legal loophole that seemed to allow for such jumping. …

Jabar Albihani was honored by CB 10 for saving a young neighbor having a seizure. Albrihani was so good, he could even save Pat Russo’s political future, one local wag joked. …

Rep. Nydia Velazquez secured $550,000 for Lutheran Medical Center’s neo-natal care unit. Wow, that’s almost half of the golden parachute secured by another hospital’s outgoing CEO! …

Strange bedfellows? The Islamic Society of Bay Ridge and the International Socialist Organization will be bussing protesters to Washington to protest the war in Iraq and the “occupation of Palestine” on Jan. 27. No word on whether the commies will fund a separate bus trip to protest the notion that a “Socialist” organization would charge $35 to get to D.C. …

Bob Costas — beloved HBO sportscaster, son of Queens, short yet genial man — won Xaverian High School’s coveted Joe DiMaggio award last week for his commitment to America’s children. No, he isn’t announcing Little League games. He’s raised millions for children’s health. …

Rev. Samuel “Billy” Kyles, a great friend of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., and one of the last people to see him alive, dropped by Poly Prep Country Day School for a King Day celebration last week. …

Screech! Our friends at Massey Knakal (friends? Hey, how about finding us a house we can afford!) tell us that the guy who owns the land underneath Giuffre Hyundai and Mazda of Bay Ridge is selling the property right out from under the car dealer. The 10,000-square-foot lot — between Fourth and Fifth avenues — is on sale for a cool $3 million. Giuffre’s lease runs through 2014. Can you say, “Buyout”?