D’oh! Day-old donuts dunked

By Matthew Lysiak
The Brooklyn Paper

A Bay Ridge Chock Full of Nuts was recently shut down after it was discovered that the popular coffee franchise was selling stale donuts acquired from a competitor.

The shutdown occurred on July 9, three months after the rogue coffee shop’s nefarious ways earned it a mention in The Brooklyn Paper’s “Yellow Hooker” column. With the word out, the big wigs at Chock Full of Nuts’ main offices investigated whether the store on Third Avenue near 79th Street was indeed selling stale Dunkin Donuts products to unknowing customers.

So franchise executives sent in a spy to verify the allegation, according to a donut source, who wished to remain nameless.

What the spy discovered was stranger than fiction, according to the source: The Chock Full owner had befriended a Dunkin Donuts owner and arranged for leftover Dunkin cruellers, twists and other treats to escape the trash and go instead to the display case at Chock Full.

“They were selling humus, strange cookies, and pizza. It was a disaster,” the source said. “The higher-ups got word of the situation, shut the guy down, and handed it to someone they knew was reliable.”

That someone is new owner Frank Monteners, who took over the café with partner Joe Fama.

“Let me just say the former owner was not in compliance with the Chock Full of Nuts,” said Montenes, who runs three successful Chock Full of Nuts in Staten Island.

“It is no secret that they were selling Dunkin Donuts, but I can’t comment” further.

“The response since we reopened [last Saturday] has been great,” Montenes added. “But it was clear when I took over that part of my job would be damage control.”

Indeed, no one was fooled by the confectionary bait-and-switch — certainly not the donut savvy residents of Bay Ridge.

“I knew that it was Dunkin Donuts from the minute I bit into a croissant,” said local resident and pastry fan Lisa Tizzishillo. “It was so obvious; Chock Full of Nuts even left the Dunkin Donuts labels on their display case.”

Tizzishillo also didn’t like the fact that the donuts were stale — but is willing to give the new owner a fresh start.

“The place looks like it has been cleaned up now,” she said.

Skunk on Ridge attack

By Matthew Lysiak
The Brooklyn Paper

Bay Ridge is starting to really stink, and I’m not just talking about the traffic on the Verrazano Bridge every weekday around 4:15 pm. I mean, Bay Ridge is starting to stink, literally.

Nature is both determined and unforgiving, and city life has a way of creating the illusion that we are insulated from her wrath, but every so often reality bites — or in this case sprays.

No sooner have Bay Ridge residents gotten accustomed to humming toadfish, raccoons and stroller moms, they now must make room for another intrusion of Mother Nature: the skunk.

This story sounds more Tom Sawyer than Pepe LePew: a Bay Ridge man was innocently taking his garbage out in front of his Fourth Avenue apartment building late one mid-July night when he heard a rustling amongst the banana peels and coffee grinds.

“I thought it was a rat,” said the victim, who wishes to remain anonymous out of embarrassment over what follows. “Living in Brooklyn, I have seen my share of rats, so I didn’t treat the noise with any special urgency.”

He soon did. First, he heard a squeal that sounded “almost like a baby-cry.” Then, he found himself being attacked by a striped culprit.

“At first, I thought I was pepper-sprayed,” said the victim. “After hearing the squeal, my eyes and mouth began to burn.”

Full disclosure: after a night on the town, let’s just say our source didn’t begin this encounter with all of his senses at peak performance, so when the spray came, he dropped the rest of his garbage and ran back to his apartment and hopped in the shower.

“I never did get a look at the skunk,” the victim said. “I guess I must have scared it or something, but it isn’t exactly something I am looking out for in Bay Ridge.”

Lesson learned. But residents should consider themselves forewarned. The skunks are here, at least according to one expert, and they are here to stay.

“We deal with city skunks every day of the week,” said Matt Liola of Anytime Pest Removal, which removes pests nationwide. “There is nothing special to us about skunks in Brooklyn, except people’s surprise that they live there.”

Liola said that skunks rarely attack, and pointed out that they give lots of warnings (like stomping their feet and squealing) before spraying their powerful scent (which can travel up to 15 feet and burn an attacker’s eyes) as a purely defensive maneuver.

“Skunks aren’t aggressive animals,” said Liola. “If you see one by your garbage late at night, just leave it alone and you won’t get sprayed.”

Or better yet, maybe next time sober up before taking the garbage out at 2 am.

“I really should stop drinking anyways,” said the victim, who said he had to trash that night’s outfit. “If getting sprayed by a skunk doesn’t wake me up, I don’t know what will.”

Matthew Lysiak is a writer based in Bay Ridge.

The Kitchen Sink
Not my greatest moment. Minutes after Community Board 10 voted 30–11 to approve of developer Andrew Kohen’s residential housing plan last week, the meeting came to a crashing halt as my camera smashed to the ground. To all those concerned, I am happy to report the camera is all right, though the same can’t be said of my ego, which took another hit minutes later, when I received a call telling me that I’d left my wallet behind. Rival reporter Helen Klein found it on my empty chair and turned it in, not even stealing the $8 inside! That Helen is a paragon of integrity. …

The Sink wants to give a shout-out to the David Lind Band for giving a shout-out to 69th Street in its new catchy single “Bay Ridge Avenue.” …

Look out Rudy! Bay Ridge for Ron Paul is here. For information go to, where else?, BayridgeForRonPaul@Gmail.com. …

Wipe that off your crystal ball: Our source tells us that the new “Spiritualist,” who hangs out on Third Avenue between 80th and 81st Street was battling a nasty stomach virus — in full view of the public (you know what I mean). If you’re speaking to the dead, please ask them to escort you to the bathroom next time.

Not-so-great wall halted

By Matthew Lysiak
The Brooklyn Paper

Mr. Cunningham, stop building those walls.

That was the order from the Department of Buildings, which halted the construction of a controversial house extension that nearly caused a neighborhood revolt.

The unneighborly spat goes back more than five years, but the cold war went nuclear two months ago after Robert and Cheryl Cunningham began building a 60-foot-high cinderblock wall at their home at 123 87th St. The wall is only inches from their neighbors at 127 87th St., Matthew and Jean Gershon.

At the time, neighbors of the quiet tree-lined block stormed Community Board 10 to demand answers from the Department of Buildings, which approved the application.

Sure enough, two months later the permit was revoked.

But the walls aren’t the first neighborly indiscretion, only the most recent.

“The Cunninghams have aggressive dogs, which defecate on our property, and are rude at every chance they get,” said Gershons.

Like most good feuds, this one also has some mystery.

The man who lives at 123 87th St., told The Stoop that his name was not Cunningham, but “John Moore.” Department of Finance records show that “Moore’s” property is indeed owned by the Cunninghams. There is no mention of a John Moore in city records.

Like the walls, this saga isn’t over, only on hold. Gershon believes the “stop-work” order is a good first step, but would also like to look out his kitchen window again.

“It is good that they stopped working, but I won’t be happy until that wall comes down,” added Gershon.

The stop-work order remains in effect until “the building owner” fully addresses the Department of Buildings’ “objections,” said agency spokeswoman Kate Lindquist.

The Cunninghams could not be reached for comment.

New charges against Club Shadows

By Matthew Lysiak
The Brooklyn Paper

Club Shadows, the embattled Fourth Avenue nightclub that pleaded not guilty to four violations earlier this year, now wants to make a deal after getting hit with a new set of charges.

Three accusations have been leveled against the club, all stemming from a fight on June 5.

The specific charges filed by the Liquor Authority on June 5 alleged that Shadows owners with “permitting the premises to become disorderly,” “permitting an altercation or assault to occur,” and “failure to exercise adequate supervision over the conduct of the licensed business.”

Or in the words of Bill Crowley, a spokesman for the State Liquor Authority, there was barroom brawl.

“There was a fight and the cops had to be called,” said Crowley.

Details of the fight remain unclear, but the new allegations came only days before Shadows offered to settle earlier State Liquor Authority charges, the most serious being that the club did not have a proper liquor license.

“Not having [it] could possibly result in revoking the license,” Crowley said.

The less-serious charges include not registering the name “Club Shadows,” and the discovery of flies in one booze bottle, according to Crowley.

The terms of the deal are confidential until the board can review it and make its determination.

“It isn’t uncommon that a deal is made to settle charges like these,” said Crowley. “These are serious charges and the board will make a determination based on the evidence.”

The new charges are a separate matter, which means another trial, according to Crowley.

“The plea is only relevant to the old charges,” said Crowley. “They haven’t pleaded to the new charges yet, which are very serious.”

Shadows had until July 11 to respond, according to the summons.

Club Shadows, which is between 90th and 91st streets, got on the community radar screen in November, when a sign featuring the silhouette of a curvy woman was installed.

The sign also promised “exotic dancers” at the Nov. 30 opening.

The strippers never materialized, but the troubles were only beginning.

Councilman Vince Gentile (D–Bay Ridge) brought SLA inspectors to the opening, and the agency hit Club Shadows with the four original violations.

Shadows lawyer William Spanakos could not be reached for comment.

Century 21 parking lot approved by CB10

By Matthew Lysiak
The Brooklyn Paper

The parking lot that claimed the life of a much-loved bowling alley on 87th Street is one step closer to reality.

Community Board 10 signed off on Century 21’s plan to build a six-story parking garage capable of accommodating 279 cars on the former site of the Mark Lanes bowling alley.

The lot could help ease parking congestion during daytime shopping hours and also at night, as Century 21 has promised to allow local restaurants to use the lot for valet parking, freeing up space on the street.

“There is a lot of congestion caused by cars circling around the block looking for parking spaces,” said Melanie McMurray, a company representative who spoke at CB10’s July 11 meeting.

Parking would not be free, unless shoppers buy something at Century 21 and get their parking ticket validated, according to McMurray.

In addition to the parking garage, Century 21 hopes to add a level of retail space on 87th Street and plant six trees on the roof, according to architect David Nicholson.

Despite the overwhelming community board support, the extra parking was condemned by at least one constituency: bowling fans.

“The bowling alley was here for 50 years and my heart was destroyed when they tore it down,” said local bowling fanatic Tom Brice.

Cell tower war off the hook

By Matthew Lysiak
The Brooklyn Paper

It’s getting ugly on 81st Street, where tenants of an apartment building — furious over the installation of cellphone equipment on their roof — confronted workers and nearly came to blows with their landlord’s relative after construction crews began installing more phone machinery.

The trouble began several years ago, when the owner of 301 81st St., Gus Sideratos, installed several antennas atop the building.

Then, last Friday, residents of the radio active complex awoke to find their street blocked off for the second time in two weeks so a crane could hoist even more equipment to the roof.

Residents of the block swarmed around the workers, prompting a relative of Sideratos to get into “a really heated and nasty argument with a resident senior citizen” outside of the complex, said one witness.

“There was yelling and cursing and even threatening as the young man accused the senior of starting all the protests and making the petitions,” said one source who lives within the building and requested anonymity out of fear of landlord retribution.

The confrontation didn’t sit well with other tenants and neighbors, who are already at a breaking point over the lack of community say over the installation of equipment they believe to be unhealthy.

“There are obviously multiple issues here, including reported intimidation by the landlord and his cronies, traffic disruptions, and a lack of leadership by local officials,” said Joe Jordan. “Let’s not forget about the possibility of adverse health issues related to the non-stop and involuntary bombardment of these telecom signals.”

Tenants filed complaints with the Department of Building against Sideratos for “storing heavy equipment on top of roof,” but the complaints were dismissed after an inspection.

A call from The Brooklyn Paper to Sideratos’s office was not returned by deadline.

But Sideratos is not alone. The conversion of rooftops into beacons for cellphone bars has become a growing trend all over Brooklyn. Companies pay building owners big bucks in exchange for a little rooftop space — and most residents enjoy the full bars on their phone and the flush cash in their building’s general fund.

But there is so much cellular equipment all over the neighborhood — and virtually no advance warning about its placement — that residents are revolting.

Last year, parents of St. Anselm’s School fought the installation of a Sprint/Nextel tower atop a nearby building. As on 81st Street, school parents didn’t know that the tower was coming until a crane showed up late one night.

Parents were able to garner enough negative publicity — and political support — to force Sprint to change plans.

Councilman Vince Gentile (D–Bay Ridge) is again in the fray, backing the 81st Street residents.

Gentile wants governments to have a say in the placement and number of cellphone towers in their communities.

“The situation on 81st Street is a perfect example of why Congress should amend the Telecommunications Act of 1996 and give the people who know what’s best for their local communities the ability to regulate cell phone towers,” Gentile said.

The councilman also called for a study of health issues related to cellular equipment. Though there is little data to support the claim that cellphone radiation is harmful, most residents are afraid.

“I have heard that these towers can cause cancer, and that is what a lot of people are concerned about,” said Ernie Homsey, a resident of the 81st Street building since 1945. “How can they do this when their have been no long-term studies to assure us they aren’t harmful?”

Reps for cell phone companies have insisted that the signals are harmless, and assert that not one reputable study has shown adverse health effects. But that didn’t fully satisfy Homsey.

“When you have people who feel their family’s health is being jeopardized and no one will listen, they begin to feel desperate,” he said.

Is Kohen Ridge Ratner?

By Matthew Lysiak
The Brooklyn Paper

Developer Andrew Kohen wants to build a new Home Depot and hundreds of units of housing along a vacant Bay Ridge railyard, but faced an Atlantic Yards–sized backlash from local preservationists and Community Board 10.

In fact, Bruce Ratner’s taxpayer-underwritten antics have inspired an uprising by community boards against developers.

Locals fear that Kohen’s ambitions are too large for the surrounding area’s infrastructure and that the developer is more concerned about his wallet than the interests of the community (sound familiar?).

Of course, Kohen isn’t Bruce Ratner and Home Depot isn’t Atlantic Yards. In fact, in many ways Kohen is the anti-Ratner: he is accessible (he even speaks to reporters), has a proven track record of keeping his word (at least according to CB10), and isn’t looking to boot anyone out of his house or have the state seize private property and turn it over to him.

But that hasn’t stopped the Ratner cloud from blowing over Kohen’s proposal.

The cynicism of local officials towards developers has hit a new high (which is really saying something in Brooklyn).

Board member — and failed congressional candidate — Steve Harrison even accused Kohen of greed at CB10’s land-use committee meeting last month.

Harrison and others have seized on one aspect of Kohen’s project to deride it as Atlantic Yards-lite: Kohen needs a zoning change before he can build residential units on the commercial land of the railyard at 62nd Street and Eighth Avenue. The resulting complex would consist of an 11-story building with 216 apartments (43 of which will be below-market-rate), office space, and the 100,000-square-foot Home Depot.

CB10 members chewed him out — but mostly because they could, unlike the three boards around the Yards site, which never got to quiz Ratner directly because his project is sponsored by the state and, thus, has no local oversight.

When members finished their anti-development sermons, ranging on everything from the height of Kohen’s buildings to the size of his carbon footprint, they privately said that the real problems can be boiled down to two things: trust and accountability.

“[Like we’re learning with Ratner], we know what Kohen is telling us and what actually happens could be two different stories,” one member said. “These projects have a way of spiraling out of control.”

No one could blame local officials for being a little gun-shy to greenlight Kohen after details keep emerging about that other developer’s development in that other part of Brooklyn.

Despite Ratner’s promises to the contrary, it becomes increasingly clear that taxpayers are actually footing the bill for his “privately built project,” and local officials who approved of the deal are learning they have no way of holding Ratner accountable now that they’ve approved the project.

So it’s no wonder that other communities are now asking a lot more questions.

But Kohen has an answer for them. “This is not an extension of Atlantic Yards, and those who may take that view are sadly mistaken,” he said. “Unlike Atlantic Yards, there is no vehement opposition to this project, and in fact, there is very strong community support.”

Late Wednesday night, CB10 actually surprised me by approving Kohen’s rezoning request (see page 4), but the board did as the hard questions. So I guess we can thank Bruce Ratner for one thing: the current climate of developer distrust could at least force developers to start giving answers if they want local support.

The Kitchen Sink
Al Gore is coming to Bay Ridge, or at least his movie “An Inconvenient Truth” is. Gore’s cinematic war against carbon dioxide will unspool on July 12 as part of the Narrows Botanical Gardens free Summer Cinema Series. Bring a hemp blanket and some organic snacks. …

Little Cupcake Bakeshop at 9102 Third Ave. has a great red velvet cupcake, but if you order a piece of Oreo cookie cake, be prepared to loosen your waistbands — the slice sizes are absolutely monstrous! …

State Sen. Marty Golden (R–Bay Ridge) may be limping into the Mayor’s race. Our source tells us the bum knee that he hurt a few years ago on an elliptical machine has been giving him problems again. That sure didn’t stop him from shaking every hand and kissing every baby at last week’s Independence Day Parade on Third Avenue. …

A country-club Democrat? Councilman Vince Gentile (D–Bay Ridge) recently got funding for some new tennis courts and free tennis lessons in the PS 229 schoolyard. The program runs from July 2–Aug. 24. For information, contact Gentile’s office at (718) 748-5200. …

The Bay Ridge Hum is back! The Stoop is getting reports that the hum that keeps residents along Shore Road awake on some summer nights, is back and as annoying as ever. Many believe it’s the mating call of the Oyster Toadfish, so if you’re interested in a little frog action, head to the waterfront.